Shades of Strong
A Movement
Where Black women tell the truth
about strength, support, and what
it means to be human.
support sessions
Get one-on-one support for what you’re
navigating right now.
Explore Support Languages
See how the five Support Languages name
different ways support can reach or miss us.
Identify the kind of support that matters
most to you right now.
Shades of Strong® is a platform where Black women talk honestly about strength, support, and what happens when being able to handle things gets mistaken for not needing support.
THE BATTLE CRY HEARD AROUND THE WORLD
“I don’t want to be strong anymore.”
At first, it sounded like Black women were saying we didn’t want to be strong anymore. But that wasn’t really it. We were tired of strength being used as a reason to expect more from us while offering us less support.
We were tired of being the person everybody could count on while nobody stopped to ask what we needed. Tired of knowing how to handle things and having that become the reason people assumed we should handle them alone.
And in response to that cry? We tried.
We tried the things we were told would help. We protected our time, lit candles, took bubble baths, downloaded meditation apps, got better at saying no, and tried to make more room for rest. Some of it helped, but something was still missing.
Rest could give us a break, but it couldn’t make another person understand what we meant, notice what was happening, take something off our plate, make honesty feel safer, or remember what mattered to us.
That gap became Support Languages™. It gave us a way to name the kinds of support we need and recognize when support is actually reaching us and when it isn’t.
Self-care can support you.
It cannot replace being supported.
THE FIVE SUPPORT LANGUAGES™
Support can reach us in different ways. It can miss us in different ways too.
Support Languages names five kinds of support that can matter across our relationships, workplaces, families, communities, and different seasons of our lives. All five may matter to you, but one may feel especially important right now.
EMOTIONAL SAFETY
Honesty without emotional fallout.
It can look like being able to say no, tell the truth, or name what hurt without your tone, attitude, or character becoming the issue.
ROOM TO BREATHE
Time, space, and relief from demands.
It can look like having an hour, an evening, or a day where nobody needs an answer, a decision, a favor, or access to you.
MINDFUL CARE
To be rememered and considered
It can look like someone remembering what matters to you and letting what they already know about you shape how they show up.
BEING SEEN
To be noticed before you have to ask.
It can look like someone noticing what has changed, what you’ve been doing, or where support may be needed before you have to point it out yourself.
BEING HEARD
To feel understood, not simply listened to.
It can look like someone letting you finish, asking questions before deciding what you mean, and responding to the point you were actually trying to make.
FROM “STRONG BLACK WOMAN”
Being dependable, resourceful, and able to make a way can become the very reason people assume you need less. You get praised for handling things while your need for support stays easy to miss.
TO SUPPORTED BLACK WOMAN
Being supported means your strength is no longer treated as evidence that you should need less. What you need can be noticed, understood, considered, and responded to while you’re still in the middle of your life.
THE PODCAST
Shades of Strong Podcast
Hosted by Shirl Hubbard, founder of Shades of Strong® and creator of Support Languages™.
The conversations behind the work.
The Shades of Strong Podcast goes deeper into the expectations Black women live with, the things we don’t always say out loud, and what support can look like in our actual lives.
It’s where we talk about strength, relationships, boundaries, family, work, and the gap between being surrounded by people and actually feeling supported.
“It’s like a warm hug for my soul. It helps me dry my tears
and keep going.”
— Shades of Strong Podcast Listener
SUPPORT SESSIONS
1:1 support for what you’re navigating right now.
Support Sessions are one-on-one conversations for Black women who need somewhere to talk through what’s happening and figure out what support would actually help.
You don’t have to arrive with the right words or a plan. We can start with what’s happening and work from there.
