26 BLACK WOMEN
Being the One Everone Depends On
Dr. Candice Dawson
Dr. Candice Dawson has spent years being the person people could count on, as a mother, daughter, educator, and the family member who could usually figure out what needed to happen next. Over time, that role began to stretch in every direction at once.
For Dr. Candice, caregiver stress for Black women showed up in the constant mental and emotional labor of helping aging parents while still parenting her own children and managing a full life. Even when other people offered help, it did not always reduce the load in the way she actually needed. Sometimes support created more explaining, more coordinating, and more work.
Eventually, the cost became harder to ignore. Exhaustion, resentment, and feeling pulled in too many directions forced her to get more honest about what she could do, what she would no longer do, and why protecting her own mental and physical health had to become part of the decision.
LISTEN TO DR. CANDICE’S STORY
“I will do everything that I can within my power to help you. However, not to the detriment of myself and my children.”
WHEN HER BODY STARTED CALLING THE TIME-OUT
Dr. Candice had been pushing through exhaustion for years, managing parenting, work, family responsibilities, and the growing demands of caring for her parents. Rest was something she had fought for as long as she could remember, even when her body was asking for it.
Then came a moment that made it impossible to keep dismissing what was happening. She became convinced she could hear water dripping in her house and started taking apart the dishwasher, tools in hand, trying to find the source. No one else could hear it. That was when she stopped and asked herself when she had last had a good night’s sleep.
Dr. Candice knew the signs by then. She could hear the “train” coming, the point where exhaustion, stress, and everything she had been pushing past would finally demand her attention. This time, instead of pretending she could keep going, she called her therapist and made an appointment.
WHEN HELP STILL LEFT HER DOING THE WORK
Dr. Candice was not completely without people who cared. Her sisters checked in, her family offered suggestions, and there were conversations about what could be done differently. But sometimes the help being offered still required her to coordinate, explain, rearrange her life, or make somebody else’s idea of support work for her.
That became especially frustrating when she was already stretched thin between her children and her parents. Being told how she could squeeze more caregiving into her schedule did not actually reduce the load. It simply reorganized the same responsibility around her.
Over time, Dr. Candice became more direct about the difference between someone solving a logistical problem and someone truly stepping in. Support, for her, meant taking something off her plate, not handing her another plan to manage.
“That doesn’t prioritize me. That’s not support. That’s just you trying to solve a problem.”
WHEN REST BECAME PART OF HER FREEDOM
Dr. Candice had spent years treating rest like something she could push past. She was used to moving, solving, showing up, and figuring things out, even when she was exhausted.
By 2026, she was making a different choice. She stopped treating rest like a sign that she was falling behind and started seeing it as part of the life she actually wanted to live. That meant paying attention sooner, noticing when her body was asking for a break, and giving herself space to sit with what she was feeling instead of immediately moving past it.
For Dr. Candice, freedom is not only about saying no to other people. It is also about choosing herself before she reaches the point of collapse. Rest, boundaries, therapy, and being honest about when things are too much have all become part of how she protects that freedom.
“I came into this year like, I choose rest.”
WHEN SHE STOPPED NEEDING EVERYBODY TO FIX IT
Dr. Candice had spent so much time being the person who handled things that even admitting she was overwhelmed could become another job. Once she said she was struggling, people often responded with questions, suggestions, and attempts to solve whatever she had just shared.
But that was not always what she needed. Sometimes she wanted to be able to say, “I’m a mess,” and have that truth received without immediately being asked what happened, what she planned to do about it, or how somebody could make it go away.
For Dr. Candice, sharing became less about asking someone to take control of the situation and more about letting the people around her know where she actually was. She wanted them to listen, remember what she had told them, and move with greater awareness rather than treating every hard thing like a problem they needed to solve.
“I’m not sharing for you to fix. I’m sharing
for you to have awareness.”
WHEN FREEDOM BECAME SOMETHING SHE CHOSE DAILY
Dr. Candice does not define freedom as having no responsibilities. She still has children, parents, work, relationships, and people she loves deeply. What has changed is the way she decides what belongs to her and what does not.
She is more willing now to say no, protect her time, rest without apologizing, and let other people be disappointed if the alternative is abandoning herself. She is also letting herself name what she has done well, enjoy what she has built, and want a life that feels good to live.
For Dr. Candice, freedom looks less like escaping responsibility and more like refusing to disappear inside of it. It is choosing boundaries, rest, pleasure, self-respect, and a life that does not require her to keep proving how much she can endure.
“Today I tap into my softness. I pay attention to what my body needs.”
ABOUT DR. CANDICE OWENS
Dr. Candice does not define freedom as having no responsibilities. She still has children, parents, work, relationships, and people she loves deeply. What has changed is the way she decides what belongs to her and what does not.
She is more willing now to say no, protect her time, rest without apologizing, and let other people be disappointed if the alternative is abandoning herself. She is also letting herself name what she has done well, enjoy what she has built, and want a life that feels good to live.
For Dr. Candice, freedom looks less like escaping responsibility and more like refusing to disappear inside of it. It is choosing boundaries, rest, pleasure, self-respect, and a life that does not require her to keep proving how much she can endure.
CONNECT WITH DR. CANDICE
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