26 BLACK WOMEN
When My Body Said No to Being Strong
Fawn Walker Montgomery
Fawn spent years showing up for her community, advocating for families, organizing for Black liberation, and pushing through pain in her own body. Her experience with endometriosis in Black women was shaped not only by the illness itself, but by years of being told she was strong enough to handle what hurt.
She kept moving because that was what she had learned to do. Even when her body was signaling that something was wrong, slowing down did not come easily. By the time she could no longer ignore what was happening, she had to face how much being needed by everyone else had cost her physically, emotionally, and relationally.
LISTEN TO FAWN’S STORY
“I didn’t have permission to be soft.
I thought I just had to fight all the time.”
WHEN ENDOMETRIOSIS IN BLACK WOMEN GOES UNHEARD
Fawn had been living with pain for years. She was diagnosed with endometriosis at 25, but no one explained how far the disease could progress or what that pain could eventually mean. She kept working, organizing, advocating, and pushing through because pain had been normalized for her long before adulthood.
When the pain became impossible to ignore, getting help still meant fighting to be believed. Doctors ran tests, suggested other diagnoses, and at times told her the problem might be in her head. She went to the emergency room again and again while the pain kept getting worse.
Eventually, Fawn pushed for a referral to an endometriosis specialist. Within minutes, he identified that the disease had spread to her rectum. What followed was a hysterectomy, a seven-hour surgery, complications, and a recovery that made it impossible to pretend her body could keep absorbing everything she had been asking of it.
WHEN HER RELATIONSHIPS WERE TIED TO HER LABOR
When Fawn got sick enough that she could no longer show up the way she always had, something else became impossible to ignore. The calls slowed down. People who were used to seeing her in the middle of the work were suddenly not checking on her.
That absence forced her to confront something painful. So much of the connection around her had been built around what she could provide, fix, organize, or respond to. When she stopped being available in those ways, she began to see which relationships had room for Fawn the person, and which ones had mostly made room for Fawn the advocate.
That realization changed the way she thought about support. She did not want to be remembered only for how hard she fought or how much she gave. She wanted a life where being loved was not dependent on being useful.
“It made me sad at myself because I was like, damn, like I let myself go. Like I really was out here going hard for these folks, but not going hard for myself. So I had to forgive myself.”
WHEN FIGHTING STARTED TO LOOK DIFFERENT
Fawn didn’t walk away from the work that mattered to her. She is still committed to Black liberation, still organizing, and still advocating. What changed was the belief that doing that work had to mean being in a constant state of fight.
As she began listening to her body and deepening her spiritual practices, she started questioning how much of herself she was giving away. She became more intentional about where her energy went, how she approached movement work, and whether every situation required something from her.
That shift also opened parts of her life that had gone quiet. She returned to writing, published a book, started a podcast, and began building a relationship with herself that was not centered only on what she could accomplish for other people.
“Soft doesn’t mean that we don’t fight. It just means we fight differently. And it just means that you’re more in tune with yourself.”
WHEN SUPPORT MEANT BEING SEEN BEYOND THE WORK
For years, so many of Fawn’s relationships were connected to what she could do, who she could help, and where she could show up. As her life changed, so did what she needed from the people around her.
Support now means being listened to without having to keep explaining herself. It means people remembering that she lives with chronic illness and understanding that she cannot always do what she once did. It also means relationships that reach for her when there is no work to be done and nothing being asked of her.
That difference matters because Fawn spent so much of her life in spaces where she felt like she had to fight to be heard, believed, or taken seriously. Support feels different when she does not have to fight for it.
“Support looks like having people listen, having people connect with me outside of my work. It looks like people recognizing that I have a chronic illness and I can’t do all the things. It looks like them giving me grace.”
WHEN SHE STOPPED LEAVING HERSELF OUT
As Fawn began making different choices, she started noticing parts of herself that had been pushed aside while she was focused on everybody else. Writing came back. She published a book, began a column, started a podcast, and made more room for the spiritual practices that were helping her understand herself differently.
She also began paying closer attention to how she spoke to herself, what she gave her energy to, and what her body was telling her. The shift was not about becoming less committed to her community. It was about finally including herself in the care, attention, and effort she had spent years giving away.
For Fawn, that has meant learning that a life centered on purpose does not have to require abandoning the person living it.
“The way that I treated myself and talked to myself changed a lot. The way that I approached my organizing changed dramatically. I still do it. Truly committed to collective and Black liberation. But I’m just doing it differently.”
ABOUT FAWN WALKER MONTGOMERY
Fawn Walker Montgomery is a community organizer, writer, consultant, and advocate whose work centers racial justice and Black liberation. She leads Take Action Advocacy Group and has spent years working alongside families and communities impacted by injustice.
She is also the author of Healing in the Fight: A Black Woman’s Journey with Endometriosis and Radical Self-Care and a columnist for the New Pittsburgh Courier. Her work now reflects both her commitment to community and what she has learned about making room for her own body, voice, and well-being too.
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