26 BLACK WOMEN
The Moment You Realize You’ve Been Doing Too Much
Kimberly Sumpter
Kimberly Sumpter spent years doing what needed to be done, working, creating, showing up for other people, and pushing herself past exhaustion without really stopping to ask what all of it was doing to her.
For Kimberly, the need for rest became impossible to ignore after a health scare forced her to see how much she had neglected herself. Her blood pressure reached a dangerous level after days of pushing through stress, and she realized that continuing to function did not mean she was okay. For Black women, rest can become something we postpone until the body makes the decision for us.
That moment changed the way Kimberly looked at work, responsibility, and the people and things she kept putting ahead of herself. She began asking a different question, not how much more she could get done, but what her life would look like if she actually treated herself like someone worth protecting.
LISTEN TO KIMBERLY’S STORY
“I could have lost my life because I’ve ignored myself, because
I’ve put so many other things in front of me that didn’t deserve
my space or my time.”
WHEN HER BODY FORCED HER TO PAY ATTENTION
Kimberly had been moving through life the way she always had, working, meeting deadlines, handling responsibilities, and assuming she could keep pushing as long as she was still functioning.
Then one evening, while sitting at her computer trying to finish something, she stood up and could not walk in a straight line. She thought she was simply overwhelmed and decided to rest. By the time she finally went to the doctor a few days later, her blood pressure was dangerously high.
That moment changed something for Kimberly. She realized she had been ignoring herself while giving her time, energy, and attention to everything else. The question was no longer how much more she could do. It was how long she could keep treating herself like the last person who mattered.
WHEN BEING NEEDED STOPPED FEELING LIKE BEING VALUED
Kimberly had spent years bringing her best to the spaces she was part of. She worked hard, showed up, contributed, helped, and tried to be someone people could count on. But over time, she began noticing a difference between being appreciated for who she was and being valued for what she could provide.
That realization hurt. There were relationships and spaces where people seemed willing to receive her time, ideas, energy, and effort without offering the same care or acknowledgement in return. What looked like being needed could sometimes feel more like being used.
And that took a toll on Kimberly’s confidence. It made her question herself in rooms she knew she belonged in and wonder whether people actually saw her, or only saw what she could bring to the table.
“They value what you can bring to the table. They extract from you, but they don’t necessarily value you as the person.”
WHEN REST STOPPED NEEDING PERMISSION
Kimberly had spent years pushing through exhaustion and arranging her life around what other people needed from her. Even when she physically stopped, her mind often kept going. Rest could still feel like something she had to justify, schedule around everybody else, or earn after everything was finished.
That began to change when she stopped waiting for someone else to make room for her. Kimberly started paying attention to when she needed to step back and letting that be enough. No asking if it was okay. No figuring out how her rest would fit into somebody else’s plans.
For Kimberly, rest became less about escape and more about listening to herself before she reached the point of depletion.
“I recognize it. I know when I need it
and I take it.”
WHEN SILENCE CHANGED WHAT SHE THOUGHT SHE KNEW
Kimberly had spent a long time believing there was trust and reciprocity in a relationship that mattered to her. She had shared, supported, and shown up with the understanding that the care went both ways.
Then came a moment when she needed someone to really hear her, and the response was silence. What hurt was not only that she did not get what she needed in that moment. It was the realization that the relationship itself might not have been what she believed it was.
Kimberly found herself replaying conversations, questioning what she had shared, and wondering whether she had misunderstood the closeness between them. The experience left her feeling exposed, but it also changed the way she thinks about trust, discernment, and who gets access to the more vulnerable parts of her.
“It was a feeling of feeling actually kind of bare and naked in the moment.”
WHEN PEACE BECAME SOMETHING SHE COULD CHOOSE
Kimberly is learning what it feels like to build a life that does not require her to stay depleted. With less noise in her head, she has begun noticing parts of herself that were harder to hear when she was constantly being pulled in different directions, her creativity, her instincts, what brings her joy, and what actually feels good to her.
She is also pouring into herself differently now. Kimberly talks about giving herself flowers, speaking well of herself, and creating spaces that feel peaceful instead of waiting for other people to provide that feeling for her. The radio station she built became part of that, a place filled with music, Black women’s voices, and the kind of energy she wanted around her.
And after years of treating rest like something that could always wait, she sees it differently now. For Kimberly, and for Black women learning to rest before the body demands it, rest is not something extra to squeeze in after everything else has been handled. It is part of taking care of the life you are trying so hard to keep living.
“When it comes to resting, and that’s resting your mind, your body, your spirit, it is so totally essential. It’s not optional.”
ABOUT KIMBERLY SUMPTER
Kimberly Sumpter is a podcaster, creator, radio host, wife, mother, and founder of Sisters Connect Radio, an online station built around music, storytelling, and the voices of Black women. What started as a desire to create her own radio show grew into a 24/7 space filled with neo-soul, R&B, women-led podcasts, and uplifting conversation. Kimberly Sumpter
At this stage of her life, Kimberly is especially intentional about peace, creativity, and creating spaces that help women feel inspired, connected, and heard. That same desire for peace is also shaping how she cares for herself now, with more attention to rest, boundaries, and what she wants the next chapter of her life to feel like.
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