For a long time, Alyson Brown believed being strong meant handling everything on her own. She was showing up, holding it together, and figuring things out without needing much from anyone else. And for a while, it worked. At least it looked like it did.
In this episode, Alyson shares the moment her body forced her to stop pushing through. What she thought was just a busy season filled with good things, a new job, meaningful work, and planning events, slowly turned into something she could no longer manage on her own. And when it all came to a head, she couldn’t hold it together the way she was used to. She had to be held.
That moment revealed something deeper. Being strong had come at a cost. Not just physically or emotionally, but in her relationships. It had quietly shaped the way she showed up with the people around her and made it difficult to ask for support, even when she needed it.
Alyson opens up about what it’s been like being the strong friend, the one people rely on, the one who always shows up. But when you’re used to being that person, it can be hard to be honest about what you need or to allow yourself to be fully seen. Even in safe relationships, there can still be a hesitation, a fear that showing too much might change how people see you.
This conversation isn’t about having it all figured out. It’s about what it looks like to begin unlearning that pattern and learning how to receive support in real time. Not perfectly and not all at once, but honestly.
If you’re starting to recognize that being “the strong one” has shaped how you show up in your relationships, the Support Languages™ assessment can help you begin to put language to the kind of support that actually meets you: shadesofstrong.com/supportlanguages.
About Alyson Brown
Alyson Brown is someone who cares deeply about helping women do the kind of healing that doesn’t always get talked about out loud.
Her work sits at the intersection of faith and wellness, especially for women who are trying to make sense of their relationship with their mothers, themselves, and God… all at the same time.
She creates spaces where women can be honest about what they’ve been carrying, begin to process it, and start moving toward emotional freedom in a way that feels real, not rushed.
Alyson has been featured on the Woman Evolve podcast with Pastor Sarah Jakes Roberts and recognized by Impact Magazine. Whether she’s hosting conversations, leading events, or gathering women in more intimate settings, her focus stays the same… creating room for people to feel safe enough to be seen, supported, and begin healing in a way that actually lasts.
Connect with Alyson Brown:
YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok: @EverythingAlyB
About Shades of Strong®
Shades of Strong® is a space where Black women come to breathe, reflect, and reclaim strength without the struggle. Support Pauses are short, soulful reminders that you don’t have to carry it all alone. New episodes drop every weekday.
Resources to Support You:
- Black Women Storytelling Series
- Schedule a 1:1 Support Session
- Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?”
- Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best.
- Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week
- Download Sistah’s Connect Radio in the Apple Store
- Download Sistah’s Connect Radion in Google Play
Let’s Stay Connected:
- Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform
- Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one
- Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space
- Submit your questions to hi@shadesofstrong.com
- Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted
- www.shadesofstrong.com
Shirl Hubbard is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.
