Shades of Strong
The Story
Built from the truth that being strong
shouldn’t mean doing it all alone.
WHAT THE WORK
LOOKS LIKE TODAY
Bring Shades of Strong
into the room
MEET SHIRL HUBBARD
I didn’t set out to build a framework about support.
I’m Shirl Hubbard, founder of Shades of Strong® and creator of Support Languages™. The earliest version of this work began one night in my bedroom during a really hard season. I was pacing the floor, overwhelmed, and at some point I grabbed something off my dresser and threw it across the room. My daughter came in and asked, “Did you throw something?” and without even thinking I said, “No, something fell.” What got me wasn’t even that I had thrown something. It was how easily I lied when I was clearly not okay. That moment made me think about how often we can be going through something privately and still come out of the room saying, “I’m fine.”
That moment led to the creation of the Get Naked Podcast. The name was about emotional nakedness, taking off the layers we use to look okay and having honest conversations about what was really happening underneath the “I’m fine.” The idea made sense. The name eventually did not. Less than a year in, I was getting enough DMs from men who were clearly reading “Get Naked” a little too literally that I knew I needed to rethink the name, so I took a break and started asking myself what I really wanted the work to be.
During that time, I kept seeing Black women say, “I don’t want to be strong anymore.” At first I pushed back against it because strength meant something important to me. But the more I listened, the more I realized they weren’t saying they didn’t want to be strong. They were saying, “I don’t want to be strong like that.” They didn’t want strength to mean doing everything alone, needing very little from anybody, or living by a version of strength handed down to them without ever asking whether it still fit.
That’s where Shades of Strong came from. The idea was that you get to decide what your shade of strong looks like. You don’t have to do strength exactly the way your mama or grandmama did it. You can decide what it means for your own life.
But after a while, I realized I was helping Black women become more aware of what being “strong” had cost us and then, in a way, just dropping us off there. We could name what we were tired of, but I didn’t yet have language for what we needed instead, and that never sat right with me.
I didn’t realize what was missing until I found myself in another really difficult season. Life had been life’ing in a way it never had before, and one day I was sitting on the edge of my bed crying, trying to make sense of what I needed when the people I wanted to understand me just didn’t seem to get it. I finally asked myself, “Shirl, what do you need right now?”
The answer came almost immediately: “To be heard.”
And I knew exactly what that meant. People had listened to the words coming out of my mouth, but I hadn’t consistently felt understood in what I was actually trying to say, what I was feeling, or what I needed. That realization made me wonder how many other Black women were moving through their lives with support needs they could feel but didn’t yet have language for.
That’s how Shades of Strong became the home of Support Languages™.
I realized they weren’t saying they didn’t want to be strong. They were saying, “I don’t want to be strong like that.”
THE QUESTION THAT CHANGED THE WORK
“Shirl, what do you need right now?”
To be heard.
MEET SHIRL
I didn’t set out to build a framework about support.
The earliest version of this work began one night in my bedroom during a really hard season. I was overwhelmed, and at some point I grabbed something off my dresser and threw it across the room. When my daughter came in and asked if I had thrown something, I immediately said, “No, something fell.”
What got me was how easily I lied when I was clearly not okay. It made me think about how often we can be going through something privately and still come out of the room saying, “I’m fine.”
That moment became the beginning of the Get Naked Podcast, a space for honest conversations about what was really happening underneath the “I’m fine.” Less than a year later, enough sexualized DMs made it clear the name had to change. I took a break and started asking myself what I really wanted the work to become.
During that break, I kept seeing Black women say, “I don’t want to be strong anymore.” At first I pushed back because strength meant something important to me. But the more I listened, the more I understood what they were really saying.
I realized they weren’t saying they didn’t want to be strong. They were saying, “I don’t want to be strong like that.”
That realization became Shades of Strong. The idea was simple: you get to decide what your shade of strong looks like. You don’t have to do strength exactly the way your mama or grandmama did it. You can decide what it means for your own life.
But after a while, I realized awareness wasn’t enough. We could name what we were tired of, but I still didn’t have language for what we needed instead.
Later, during another really difficult season, I was sitting on the edge of my bed crying, trying to make sense of what I needed from people who just didn’t seem to understand me. I finally asked myself, “Shirl, what do you need right now?”
The answer came immediately: “To be heard.”
I knew exactly what that meant. People had heard my words, but I hadn’t consistently felt understood in what I was actually trying to say, what I was feeling, or what I needed. It made me wonder how many other Black women were moving through life with support needs they could feel but didn’t yet have language for.
That’s how Shades of Strong became the home of Support Languages™.
WHAT THE WORK LOOKS LIKE TODAY
The story grew. So did the work.
SUPPORT LANGUAGES™
The framework, assessment, resources, and growing body of evidence helping Black women identify the support they need and recognize when support is actually reaching them.
WRITING + CONVERSATIONS
Through the podcast, essays, commentary, and public conversations, we continiously examine Black women, strength, relationships, need, access, and support.
DIRECT SUPPORT
Support Sessions offer one-on-one space for Black women to talk through what’s happening, identify what support would actually help, and find language for what they need.
Bring Shades of Strong Into the Room
WORK WITH SHIRL
Shades of Strong® brings language and practical insight to conversations about Black women, strength, relationships, support, and the expectations that shape our lives.
If you’re creating a conversation, event, publication, or initiative where this work belongs, there are several ways we can work together.
Ways to Work Together
Media interviews + podcast conversations
Conversations about Black women, strength, support, relationships, and the work behind Support Languages™.
Speaking + panel conversations
Thoughtful conversations that bring this work into larger discussions about Black women’s lives and experiences.
Workshops + facilitated conversations
Interactive spaces built around support, language, recognition, and what it means to respond to actual need.
Writing + commentary
Essays, contributed articles, commentary, and other editorial opportunities.
Aligned partnerships
Collaborations that extend the reach, application, or continued development of the work.
HAVE SOMETHING IN MIND?
Let’s talk about where this work could fit.
READ. LISTEN. EXPLORE.
The work doesn’t stop here.
Explore Shirl Hubbard’s published writing, features, and conversations about Black women,
strength, support, relationships, and the ways we care for one another.
