People Pleasing


People-pleasing is a habit that we’ve all fallen prey to at some point in our lives.  It is the act of pleasing other people instead of doing the things that we know will make us happy or the things that will bring us peace.   

People pleasing wears many faces, but the one we’re undoubtedly most familiar with is saying yes when we REALLY want to say no, even when we know we’re already stretched beyond capacity. 

But did you know that people pleasing comes out of a perfectionist mindset, AND that the perfectionist mindset that gives birth to people pleasing is born out of white supremacy?

I know, right?  CRAZY!!

Listen, I was taking aback too when Natty said it, but then code-switching and shape-shifting immediately came to mind.

I see you clutching your pearls again, sis!  I did the same thing.


I can’t give you all this tea now.  You gotta tune in to hear us POUR IT ALL OUT!

Here a few
PEOPLE PLEASING points we touched in this episode:


  • How this behavior is connected to perfectionism, self-sabotage and white supremacy
  • The many faces of this behavior and how each face is rooted in the lack of self-awareness
  • How to break the cycle while still being there for and supporting those you love


If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HERE for a quick how to.

Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: