Guarding your yes is as simple as reframing your no.
We’ve all been there, right?
Yes’ing all over the place because we don’t want to be seen as angry, difficult, or some other Black woman stereotype – saying yes to things we know we need to say no to, stretching ourselves beyond capacity because we don’t want to disappoint those who have come to depend on us, or not taking time to rejuvenate because as Black women, we’re supposed to do it all.
Saying no is often hard for Black women because saying yes is so deeply embedded in the Black female culture, but aren’t you tired of being on the hamster wheel of always saying yes?
In today’s episode of the Shades of Strong Podcast, Tangee Augustin, LCSW challenges listeners to get off the hamster wheel and get your no game up by knowing your limits and guarding your yes.
A few things Tangee shared during our conversation:
- How to reframe your no and give yourself permission to NOT say yes
- The Black woman’s reluctance to saying no and how it’s directly related to people pleasing
- What it looks like to make the shift from saying no to guarding your yes
- How not saying can lead to burn out, anxiety, and depression
… just because it bears repeating
“Changing the narrative from saying no to guarding your yes is you
doing something for you, which is exactly what it’s all about. It’s about
setting limits for what you’ll say yes to.”
“It’s time to get off the hamster wheel of yes’ing all over the place.
Guarding your yes is as simple as reframing your no.”
Changing the narrative from saying no to guarding your yes is you doing something for you. Say it with me, sis: I'm not saying no. I'm guarding my yes. #SHADESOFSTRONG #MYSTRONGIS Click To Tweet
ABOUT TANGEE AUGUSTIN
Tangee Augustin is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with over 15 years of experience working in the human service field. She earned her BSW and Advanced Standing MSW at Virginia Commonwealth University.
She is the co-owner and lead therapist of Avail Outpatient Counseling LLC, a mind-body practice. In her private practice, Tangee uses Evidenced-Based Conventional Therapies in conjunction with Complementary and Alternative Therapies such as meditation, mindfulness, nutritional counseling, and stress management (i.e., progressive relaxation, guided imagery, deep-breathing exercises).
Tangee has a Mindfulness Certification, is a Certified Nutritional & Integrative Mental Health Provider, and a Reiki I & II Practitioner. She has undergone several training related to CBT, DBT, Trauma Informed Care, and non-pharmaceutical interventions for mental health disorders. Her holistic and therapeutic approach encompasses the whole person including physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, social, and environmental aspects.
Your Turn, Sis!
We’re using our My Strong Is™ campaign to encourage our listeners to give up a life of hyper-independence, hyper-productivity, and hyper-resilience in exchange for one of play and ease.
My Strong Is is a campaign where we’re highlighting Black women who are daring to do strong differently – Black women who are making a conscious and deliberate effort to give up a life of caping, masking, and hiding.
We would love to hear how you define strong. All you have to do is complete the statement, “My strong is” and tag us (@shadesofstrong) on your favorite social media platform using the hashtags #shadesofstrong and #mystrongis. Alternatively, you can come be a guest on the podcast and share your strong with our listeners. Either way, we want to know!!!
Catch up on Previous Episodes:
A Journey to Being Soft and Strong
The Journey Towards, Vulnerability, Grace, and Ease
Mental Health, Resilience, and Postpartum Depression
Steady, Present, and Free Even When Life Be Lifing
Finding Comfort in Stitting with Uncomfortable Emotions